


What would I do without you?

by ChocoNut



Series: Tales of love (Season 3/4) [50]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Missing Scenes, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29881140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: Five times Jaime visits Brienne to lament about his family's behaviour, and the one time he’s there for something else.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Series: Tales of love (Season 3/4) [50]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1483640
Comments: 10
Kudos: 83





	What would I do without you?

**Author's Note:**

> So, my cousin challenged me to come up with something in under an hour. The result is this.  
> Thank you for reading!

“Father disowned me today.”

Jaime walks in, head hung low, even more dejected than he’d been on the worst day of his life. 

“He does not think me capable enough to protect the king anymore.”

She recalls the night he’d broken down and decides to be gentler this time. “You’re his son and heir. Give him time to come to terms with what you have endured.”

“His _coming to terms_ involves my getting married and moving to Casterly Rock,” he bitterly points out. “While that may suit him fine, my _terms_ are quite different.”

“Your sister.” Brienne’s heart feels a pinch when she pictures him with his pretty lover. This is new.

“The Kingsguard is the only way I can stay close to her.” He takes a few paces then comes back to her. “I can’t do without her.” He is no more the arrogant Kingslayer who’d insulted her, but a desperate lover clutching at whatever he can to preserve his love. “What do I do, Brienne?”

The space between them fills with something she cannot make sense of. “It will pass,” she says, giving him hope whilst something else creeps into her. “While things might not return to what there were before—” Guilt shoots through her when she can’t help a glance at his stump. “The worst has passed, I should say.”

“You think so?”

She nods, wishing better days for him.

Warm eyes warm her heart. “What would I do without you, wench?” 

The _something_ is prominently making its presence felt inside her. As soon as he leaves, she leans against the door, hoping it is not what she’s beginning to think it is.

+++++

“I hate this.”

He begins tugging at the clasps on the hideous golden monstrosity fastened to his stump. “I—” Frustration at getting nowhere with it gets to him, and he wages a war with it, swearing loudly when he ends up with a cut on his lower lip.

“Let me.” Taking over, she works on it. “You don’t have to wear it if it disgusts you this much.”

“It disgusts _her_ if I don’t.” His words are so loaded. There is this anguish at being treated like something to be shunned upon. Threaded into that is also the sincere intent to do anything to keep her happy. “But you—” there’s an unexpected turn to his tone “—unlike everyone else, you don’t look at it like it’s some ugly—”

“I’m sure she’ll get used to it as time passes.” 

“You really think so?” She can feel his eyes on her. “You never did come across as someone who—”

“I have been unlucky in the matters of the heart, but I do believe that not everyone has to suffer a fate like—” Drinking back her emotions, she rids him of the golden hand and thrusts it in his good one. 

He tries to pull out the truth from her eyes. “Have I upset you, my lady?” 

“You should be getting back,” she says, keen to get him out of her sight. “And you better—” It takes her more than her resolve to refrain from attending to his swollen lip. “Better see Qyburn.”

He wipes away the blood with his sleeve. “It's just a cut.”

_It's just that I can't see you bleed anymore._

Later that night, it is not Renly who steals her sleep.

+++++

“You’ll get better with practice,” she tries to gently infuse some confidence in him.

“Look at me—” He swishes the blade around, his wrist-work awkward and totally not him. “This will not even help me swat a fly.”

“You’re one of the best swordsmen—”

“I lost to you—”

“—only after making me sweat and bleed.” Every detail of the duel is fresh in her mind.

“Maybe you ought to train me,” he thinks aloud. “I’m done putting up with Bronn—”

“Your brother swears by his skill—”

“—and he swears more at me than actually helping me get somewhere.”

They look at each other for a moment, then smile.

“Why not you, Brienne?”

“I will leave one day… soon.” And that feeling, instead of making her feel better, casts her heart into a dark chasm. 

+++++

“First my father, then Cersei, and now—” he runs his fingers through his hair “—Joffrey thinks I’m no good.”

If only she could do something to ease him out of this misfortune. “You know that’s not true.” Encouraging words and comfort is all she can offer him.

“How do _you_ know it’s not true?” 

“Because I—” She looks into his eyes for what he will never feel for her. She can feel the pull he’s not even exuding. “I just know.”

His hand is on hers. “You’re a good friend, Brienne. What would I do without you?”

 _Friend._ Here she is, probing into his touch for something that will eternally belong to Cersei. How stupidly naive of her!

+++++

“Weeks have passed and Cersei still refuses to let me anywhere near her.” 

So they have not lain together! Her heart clutches at this slim thread of a chance, refuses to let go. What is wrong with her? His agony should not be soothing news to her. She should be his shoulder to cry on, not revel deep down in this little moment.

“She loves you.”

He scoffs. “I doubt it these days.” Is it her imagination or have those eyes hardened? Are the flames of passion dying out? Have the insults he’s had to face brought him to a point of hopelessness and fatigue? “I don’t even know if—”

He goes all rigid; those eyes appear to be enlightened, as if seeing something in a new light.

“I must leave,” he says, looking extremely uncomfortable, and hurries out of there. 

What else can it be if not some new way to win Cersei back? That explains his haste to take off. He can’t wait to try it out. The thought of their warm bodies writhing together, burning in the heat of passion after months of parting tightens the knots on her chest.

This is going to be another difficult night. Another battle Brienne has to try and fight to shut him out, only to end up losing after a valiant struggle.

+++++ 

“My lady.”

While he usually comes to her when troubled by something, there’s an air of tension around him tonight.

“Lord Tywin will understand—”

“It’s not him.”

“The King will soon recognize your worth—”

“I’m not here to talk about Joffrey.”

“Your wrist-work will improve—”

“I’m not here for that either.”

This elimination makes it clear. _Cersei._ And it has to be news other than his usual, else he would’ve poured it all out by now. Did she finally… He can’t do without her, and if partaking in whatever he’s here to share with Brienne means bruising her heart—well, it has happened with Renly before. She’s certain she can take it again. Where love is concerned, she is bound for nothingness. Long before meeting Jaime, she’d accepted her fate and made peace with it.

“You’re here about your sister.”

“Yes.” It feels like a stack of bricks to her chest.

“I told you,” she says, her voice rapidly breaking down. “Told you that she—”

“I too told you something that day.” What is that ‘ _something’,_ she can’t point her mind to, but the shift in his tone and her late observation that his stump is naked freezes her in this moment. “What would I do without you, Brienne?” 

She wants to sense more to this than he’d meant it that day, but would it be wise to build her own meaning to what might imply no more than innocent gratitude? “Friends keep coming and going, Ser Jaime—”

“She wishes for me to spend tonight with her,” he blurts, the heat of his breath on her lips. 

The revelation is the final kick to her gut, but she must not let it show in her voice or words. “That’s wonderful,” she says, trying her best to sound cheerful and supportive. “Should you not be with—” 

He moves closer, filling the space between them. “I chose to come here instead.” 

Suddenly the room is starved of air. Or is it just her?

Jaime takes her hand. “I don’t _want to_ do without you, my lady.” 

She can feel the pull again, Only, this time, it really is _him_. All her fondness for him gushing forth, she reaches for his stump, caressing the scar that was once his pride and glory. 

“It doesn’t disgust you,” he whispers, eyes brimming with all he yearns to tell her.

Brienne brushes a kiss to it. “How can it be repulsive when it is a part of you?”

The need their touches exchange deems further words unnecessary, for any would pale in comparison to the intensity of the want in his eyes. 

Jaime definitely seems to echo her opinion, and the rest of what transpires is between his lips and hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit : I just noticed this is my 50th story in this series!


End file.
